Friday, August 12, 2011

This Gives New Meaning to "Beach Toys"

(This post is probably not safe for work.  Consider yourself warned.)

As a resident of a beach community on the Eastern Shore, I realize that tourism is a huge part of our states revenue, and that without the lovely tourists, the local economy would tank even worse than it already has.  I personally have a love-hate relationship with tourists; they are noisy, add to the traffic, and make grocery shopping a hassle; but they are also provide much needed revenue for our economy, and we wouldn't have so many entertainment options to choose from without them.  I mean what other areas have multiple water parks within a 15 mile radius, really?

I live close to Ocean City, Maryland, and tend to frequent the Maryland beaches more than the Delaware beaches.  I have, however been to Rehoboth Beach's boardwalk and it was really nice.  

Rehoboth has three different beaches: a "family" beach; a "gay" beach (no judgement here); and a "nude"  beach.  None of which are marked.  It's a huge potluck and if you find the beach you are looking for, you are doing pretty good- and if you don't, you may find yourself paying for your child's future therapy sessions when she stumbles upon a scene not unlike the "chica" one in the movie, EuroTrip. 

I heard on the radio the other day about the top items found on Rehoboth Beach.  The number one item is not what you would have expected....

are you ready?


(surprisingly, it's not used condoms)

Sex Toys


I mean, grossness aside of actually FINDING somebody else's personal items (very nasty), like, sand? EW.  NOT SEXY, people.  A moonlit (or candlelit) beach might certainly be romantic, but sand in my personal area?  Seriously Not Cool.

Also, what kind of people leave that stuff on the beach?  I understand if you don't want to take it home with you because of where you live/who you live with (I mean, hey, it's your life not mine, who am I to judge), but what is wrong with trash cans?

And, hey, those things are expensive...who has that kind of money to waste, just leaving the willies all willy-nilly on the beach? 

God forbid some innocent person walking their dog stumbles upon a personal appendage and decides to use it as a chew toy. Or brings it to some kids to play "fetch" with.  

Srsly, people, be responsible and dispose of unwanted items at the beach properly.  Don't be responsible for someone else's child's therapy sessions.

I personally find this bizarrely hilarious.  The stuff that enters your head, that never gets out, I tell you.  Maybe those "super moms" are above laughing at random crazy stuff like this, but, I'm an Only Average Mom, and I can't help but giggle.

And you know that you did too.


1 comment:

  1. LMAO, I guess that I am not quite the Average Mom, as I Laughed my ass off hysterically knowing that someone(s) left their willies all willy-nilly on the beach!!! This post made my day!!! Really, I mean come on..This one needs to be shared with the world..PS.. I am STILL laughing!!!!!


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