This isn't a real post, it's more of a blanket apology

Hello, my lovelies!

I know I've been MIA for a couple weeks now, and for that I sincerely apologize.  I've been crazy busy with wrapping up Girl Scout cookie season, being a major part of my church's Easter egg hunt, planning Vacation Bible School, and my family's Easter stuff, and haven't had a lot of time to be here in my own little corner of the world.  It isn't helping that I have been engrossed in a bunch of books...I'm a bookwork from way back.

I swear, I have a prize to set up a contest for, lots of random crazy things to write about, and my individual Infuenster Sugar and Spice VoxBox things to review, so it's not lack of material that is keeping me away!  Life has just been kind of crazy, and along with many, many bloggers I know (and read!), I suffer from an anxiety disorder.  I'm kind of in a down spiral right now, but they don't tend to last long, so no worries.  I'm not making excuses for myself, just wanted to let you all know what's going on in my life that is keeping me away!

I thought I would reveal my current reading list- these are the books I've read in the last two weeks.  If you want to know my thoughts on them, just let me know!

Books I've read in the last two weeks:
Spoiler: they are all pretty much Vampire novels.  I go through this phase once in a while
Last Sacrifice by Richelle Mead
Destined by PC Cast & Kristin Cast
Hidden by PC Cast & Kristin Cast
Lenobia's Vow by PC Cast & Kristin Cast
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson
The Sookie Stackhouse Companion by Charlaine Harris
A Touch of Dead by Charlaine Harris
Let's Pretend it Never Happened by Jenny Lawson

Off to never-never land, y'all, and I promise to try to be back soon!

Monday Maddness: Girl Scout Sunday Edition

Hello my lovelies!

As this weekend was the penumtimate weekend for cookie sales, and Girl Scout Sunday was yesterday, I am sure you understand if today's post is more about Scouts than anything else.  Sorry, my non-scouting fans, but it's my blog and I'll write what I want :)

Without further ado, here's this week's Monday Maddness: my random thoughts about my week/weekend, and all the things I've learned- the good, the bad, and the ugly.

If my cookie mom and I plan a booth, while watching the weather, and the day is predicted to be clear, the weather will still be horrible the day of the booth.  Especially if we check out the weather the DAY BEFORE.

If we have a booth on a Friday, and don't plan one for Saturday (due to a different event), the weather will be terrible on Friday, and beautiful on Saturday.  It's just the way it is.

Don't plan a cookie booth if you have to bake stuff for a bake sale the same day.  Something will fail.

Sick husbands are no fun.  When they are sick of being sick, they will find mess or clutter in the house (not really a hard job here, but still) and complain about it, until you stop what you are doing and fix the clutter.  True story.

Winning contests online is AWESOME!!  Stalking the tracking numbers will only lead to disappointment, until your package magically appears in the mailbox.

If you cookie booth in the cold, it can really go either way.  Good booth: people feel SORRY for you that you and your kids are stuck out in the cold.  Bad booth: it's so nasty out that no one wants to stand at the booth long enough to give you money for boxes.  

Spaghetti dinner fundraisers are awesome!  But, they are better if the people who are supposed to go with you actually show up.  

It's not actually that hard to find 19 people who would eat a carry-out spaghetti dinner plate without any real notice.  Sometimes cancellations (or no call no shows) can help make the difference to a family or two (or in our case, five!).

Girl Scout Sunday is the most fun you will ever have in church, without actively sinning.  No, seriously, the girls will get it all together and it will turn out to be the best day ever.

If your Scouts are going to be saying anything remotely sentimental at GS Sunday, make sure there are tissues in sanctuary.  

Just because you practice something several times, doesn't mean that it will work out the way you practice it on the event day.  Go with the flow- it might turn into something even better!

Scouts is always more fun with  more girls (and grown ups!!).  Invite a friend who has a Scout in another troop.  It will make the day even more special, and very meaningful to the other family.

Edible Arrangements are absolutely the BEST way to end a Scout Sunday event.  So pretty, clean, and everyone LOVES them.

Be extra thankful for the "fellowship coordinator" at your church- she does more work than you know (just like a Scout leader!).  THANK YOU MS. VIRGINIA!!!!

Be extra flexible- there will always be no shows, no matter what.  It's a fact of Scouting life.  Get used to it, and if you had to pay money for their spot, send them a bill.  No sense in wasting the girl's troop money!

Be kind, bold and courageous.  Be the person you want your kids to remember you as.  They won't remember you yelling and screaming, but they WILL remember how you worked to make a difference and make things better for them.

Well, folks, that's all I have for today!  My Ipsy bag and a contest prize arrived today, so look for those posts soon!  Until them, Stay Average, and smile!!

*I wanted to include a photo of Scout Sunday here, but in the interest of keeping the anonymity of my girls in tact, decided not to.  You're welcome, other parents :)

Monday Madness-Angels Unaware

Hello all you lovely average people!

It's Monday, and usually I post a list of crazy and random things that I learned or was reminded of over the past weekend (or week).  Yesterday, I had planned out a whole rant about how no one is reliable, and this fact will cause you to be stuck doing five hours of cookie booths in the freezing wind. That is, in fact, until something happened to change my mind.  Today, I'm going to post about a random act of kindness my daughter (and subsequently, I) received.

A week or so ago, a nice lady at my church asked if she could take my daughter shopping.  She told me that she has always had little girls around her- foster children, neighbors, her children's friends- and has missed shopping for kids clothes.  I smiled, and told her that of course she could take my oldest shopping; she is a total clothes horse, and I gave her some ideas of what Katie could actually use (jeans!) and what we have an over abundance of (shirts!).  We planned for Katie and the lovely lady (whom I know fairly well) to leave after church yesterday, and "do" lunch and shopping.  

Katie arrived home around 6:00 pm, with her arms LOADED with shopping bags.  I could scarcely believe my eyes!  She was very excited to show off all of her new things; an Easter dress, several pairs of pants, a new shirt, and a large bag from the shore store. She even had a small bag that was for her sister!

Ok.  Let me pause here to say, that while my family isn't living in the slums (we live in a small but nice home in the country, 10 minutes away from the ocean- not beach front or anything, but on a beach access route), but we are by no means "well off": we don't have iPhones, my Compaq laptop is at least 4 years old, and while both of our vehicles are paid for, they would never be mistaken for new.  One is actually nicknamed "the deerslayer", for obvious reasons.  I tell you this because, while we do have NICE things, we have them because both my hubby and I are serious coupon freaks and die hard bargain shoppers.  We're talking, buy the dearly needed gas grill in JANUARY, kind of people.  I NEVER pay full price for anything.  Ever.  Ok, except that one time, but other than that; NEVER.  I AM only average, after all.  My husband has a good job, and I'm a stay home parent- we make ends meet and even put a miniscule amount away each month, but we don't tend to spend a lot on the "extras" in life (I don't count a couple makeup subscriptions as "a lot").  My kids are also pretty good at not asking for super expensive things- we do one trip a year to the "hot" store that my oldest just HAS to have some things from, and Christmas gets pretty extensive around here, but that's really about it.  If they make a generic of something that's just as good, we usually go with that- especially if the price difference is enormous.

That being said, I when I saw the shoe bag, I looked at my daughter's feet.  She was not wearing the cute shoes I bought her on President's Day (for $1.50, I might add), but a pair of UGGs.  I blinked twice, assuming that they were what I call, "FUGGs", and then peered inside the shoe bag.  This amazing woman, with whom I don't always see eye to eye (though I have ALWAYS respected), bought my kid a $200 pair of UGG boots.  Plus a bunch of other stuff.  I looked closer as my daughter was spinning around in her new, beautiful clothes, and noticed what was missing: red clearance stickers (the mecca of any Discount Diva, and every Only Average Mom)!  

There were no receipts in any of the bags (except the shoe bag, I am sure that was an accident), so I am positive that this lovely lady doesn't want me to know what she spent on my kids, and my husband and I were moved that someone (besides our true family and our chosen family, that is) would even consider spending a few hundred dollars on a child that isn't "theirs".  Plus, buy her sister a gorgeous Easter dress!

My grumblings of the day before, after being stuck at a cookie booth for what seemed like endless hours, were instantly gone, and I will filled with love, joy and hope- this woman was an angel to us.  This came at a time when I was becoming particularly jaded, and perhaps less-kind than I usually was.

The moral of this story isn't to brag about how awesome this woman is (although it's true), or about how much stuff my kids have.  It's a reminder to be kinder than necessary, to love one another, to share what you have when you are able- because the people you are giving to, even if it's just a smile, will notice, and maybe change their perspective.  This fantastic woman (whom I figured would spend maybe $25 on my kid) completely changed my frame of mind, and my outlook.  We truly are entertaining Angels Unaware.

Have a great week, my average friends!

Only Average Advice

Welcome back, all of my average friends!  It's Monday, and you know what that means- time for me to recap my weekend with a few words of wisdom, so without further ado, here goes nothing!

Sometimes meetings are over before they begin.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Acknowledge the elephant in the room. Someone will thank you.

All in all is all we are.  I'm not entirely sure what this means, but if Kirk Kobain said it, it's probably true.

Sing a new song. It will make your heart happy to change your tune, once in a while.

There are some awesome people in the world, who will donate $20 to a troop at a cookie booth.

There are some not so awesome people in this world, who will ignore your girls completely when they cutely ask, "would you like to buy a box of Girl Scout cookies?"  

If someone no shows for a cookie booth, chances are they will again. It happens: never make plans during cookie season!

If you do make plans for your kids when it's possible you will be needed somewhere else, be sure they are awesome plans!!

Some things never change. But then again, some things do.  This applies to people also.

If you give a mouse a cookie, he won't want some milk to go with it.  He will invite all his little mousey friends to come and stay at your house, and it will take 6 years to get rid of them all. (ok, maybe I didn't learn this THIS weekend, but am proud to say that we are a mouse free home for the first winter in a long time- homes in the country are prone to field mice in the winter.  It happens, people, even to clean homes)

Laundry is NEVER done. 

If you go to your friends house for a few hours for the kids to play together, SOMEONE always gets hurt.  Just remember, be nice to your friends, because your kids will get hurt at your house just as easily; plus it pays to have friends that are nurses.

If your best friend goes on a cruise to the Bahamas WITHOUT you, she will still want you to feel bad for her and send you a text when no one wants to party.  Feel sorry for her, even if you wish you were there, because she is without you, just as you are without her.

It's better to forgive, but not always to forget. Forgiveness shouldn't need to be earned, but freely given when asked for. This doesn't mean forgetting.  Trust is earned, forgiveness is free.

Sometimes you need to forgive without being asked, but that's more for you, than them.  This works too.

Being the better person is hard.  It's also worth it.

I think this just about wraps up my week in words, so I'll end with a picture of my sweet daughter, doing what we had planned, when we had a cookie booth cancellation, that I did NOT make her go to, but went without her.  Enjoy!

Mommy- it was so much fun, but the foam pit EATS SOCKS. (love it!)

Happy week, y'all, stay average and beautiful!

Weekend in Words

I'm sorry this "Monday" post is so late- with President's Day on Monday, and Tuesday is my Girl Scout day, this is honestly the first time I've had to sit down and do a weekly reflection post- but really, what do you expect from someone as Only Average as me?

This was another weekend of cookie booths, Valentine's dinner with my husband, and the first weekend of Lent.  Tell you what, we all forgot about fish on Friday until lunchtime, and major props to IRSD for offering meat free options in their school lunches during Lent this year- a first, since K started attending there!

So, without further ado, here is my weekly reflection on the craziness of my so called life:

It doesn't matter how many times you check with someone about confirming plans; if there is a snowflake in the air- expect at least one person to cancel.  It's guaranteed.

Sometimes, it just doesn't matter.

If you own a truck, expect to be asked to help someone move.  Especially if it's cookie season, and you have to help pack up booths in your vehicle.

Just because there is a cash register at the front of the table, doesn't meant you are supposed to pay at the door.  Ok, seriously, people.  I hate the confusion this causes.  Am I supposed to pay my server or at the register?  If I do the wrong one, I just know that people will think we are trying to dine and dash, and that is SO not true.  So restaurants, please don't put a cash register right across from the door, if you don't want people to pay there.  Or print "please pay your server" on your receipts.  Really, it would make a difference.

Being socially awkward isn't fun.

If you babysitter is cancelled for the third time in a row, for your Valentine's day dinner, your husband will be awesome and come up with a plan to make sure you still get your dinner date.  How very sweet.

Yellow roses make everyone smile.

A $10 Dora balloon will keep the peace in your house for about 3 hours.  Totally worth it.

President's day sales are AWESOME.  

A $4 Angry Birds watch will be required if you want to leave Walmart without a HUGE scene.  There will STILL be a scene, but the watch will make it smaller.

Nail polish and Strawberry Shortcake dolls don't mix well.
 
Quick dry blue nail polish may be awesome on your nails, but is not good for coffee tables.



That's about it for my averageness this weekend, hope you all are enjoying yourselves and having a great week!  Stay average!

Random Facts- Girl Scout cookie edition

Happy Monday, everyone!  It's Girl Scout cookie time, and this weekend was the first weekend of cookie booth sales, so I've been out pushing cookie crack at various locations. It's Monday, and that means that it's time for me to reflect on the craziness that I called a weekend :)

Husband's can't tell time.  Ever.

Just because someone orders cookies, doesn't mean that they want to PAY for them when they come in.  It's not the end of the world, though; because someone else will want them, and be willing to pay for them.

Girl Scout cookies are like crack to some people.

Girl Scout cookies are NOT made from real Girl Scouts. This is a good thing.

When you ask a parent who is working at a cookie booth if they are good on cookies, they will only answer with thoughts towards their own booth time slot; and not the ones following.  Expect to have to call cookie mom to come and bring cookies at least once.

Be nice to the cookie mom.  She controls what you have to sell at the booth, and is the one who has to drive an hour EACH WAY to pick up cookies.  

Leaders and cookie mom/dads are volunteers.  Treat them with respect.  They are ALL overworked and grossly under paid.  In fact, we not only are unpaid, we actually have to PAY to be these adults: registration, training, and so on are NOT free for us.

For every parent that is involved with their kids, in regards to Scouts, there are at least TWO that are not.  This number should be reversed.

No one reads the newsletters.  But if you are late putting one out, everyone will comment about it.

Not every parent will read your emails, newsletters, or permission slips; and won't attend parent meetings.  They just won't.


Just because you are 18, does not make you an adult in the Girl Scout world.  If you are still in High School, you are still a kid to me.  I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings.

You will never make everyone happy at your booth.  There is always someone who wants a cookie that your council doesn't carry, or isn't happy with how the girls are decorated.  Thank these people for their input, and promptly forget about them.

It's awesome when a dad is involved with their daughter.  I absolutely love to see this.

It is not easy to be at a cookie booth, even for 2 hours, when it is freezing cold and there are high winds.  It's still necessary, because the Cookie Locator will tell someone that you are there, and they will want cookie crack, and if you aren't there, then they won't get their cookie crack, and will possibly call council.  It all rolls down hill.  So suck it up and go to the booth, just wear 2 pairs of pants, 2 shirts and 2 coats.

If you tell the cookie mom that one of your kids is sick, and that's why she's not at the booth, DO NOT have that kid show up at the booth, looking happy, healthy, and bouncy.  We know it's cold.  Our kids are out there.  We are out there.  But most of all, DO NOT expect us to give that nice warm boothless kid credit for being at the booth.  Sorry.  Our kids earned those cookies.  At least have the respect for us to tell us the truth.  

Those who have the least will likely give the most.  You will sell more cookies to the tired mom in a beat up car, than to the lady dress in finery driving a Mercedes.  Truth.

People only want to buy cookies when you are on the phone, counting cookies or counting money.  This is a guaranteed way to get people to notice your booth.  Maybe we should count the cookies more often during our time slots.  Just sayin'

Nobody follows all the rules, no matter what.  It's just a fact of life.  The trick is, not getting CAUGHT not following the rules.

Spend the extra $2 and get the cash box that has the money clips.  Trust me, it's worth it.  Wish we had.

Looking tired and cold will, contrary to popular belief, help you sell more cookies.  Unless you are at a crap location.


I think that's about all I have for this week's Only Average Randomness.  I know it's all cookie related, but, honestly, that's all I did this weekend. so what else did you expect? I AM Only Average, after all.  I hope you have a great week, and that your Monday doesn't suck as bad as it could.  Stay Average!

What's your favorite Girl Scout cookie? Leave a comment and let me know!  Am I right in calling them "crack"? 

Life's Little Lessons

I tried this last week, and really liked the reflection I experienced, so I think I will try to do it again this week.  It's been a crazy week at my home, and I have learned (or rediscovered) some of life's little lessons.  Here is what I learned this week:

If your husband has bronchitis, then expect him to be home from work for most of the week.  

If your husband is sick, your children will most definitely get sick, or pretend to be sick, to fight for your attention. 

If someone wakes you up and tells you that your child's fever is "one hundred five", don't freak out right away, because they probably forgot to say the decimal point.

Just because you've known someone for two years, and see them each week, and exchange texts and emails frequently, doesn't mean that they will remember your name when they are introducing you to another friend.

Just because someone's child has been in class with yours for six consecutive years (minus one), and sees them twice a week, every week, doesn't mean that they will remember their name when telling a story.

Generic Oreos + peanut butter + brownie mix + 350 degrees + 20 minutes = awesomeness.  Best math ever.

It's better not to be a Supermom, but to be Only Average.  Supermom will eventually fall, as all Super people have their kriptonite.  Us Only Average ones know it's ok to fall, and don't built ourselves up so high that if we do fall, WHEN we do fall, it's only a skinned knee and not a broken leg.  Way better. Plus, it's much less likely to be on tv.

The meaning of life might not be Girl Scout cookies, but when your kid is selling them, it may seem like it.

If one of your kids is on the "bubble gum" medicine, the other one will cry for an hour every day because they don't get to have some too.

If you are a department head in a volunteer position, and you miss an administrative council meeting because your kid has strep throat and your husband had to work late, the people who despise you on the council will make countless changes to your department, and it's policies.  They probably won't tell you about them until you get the minutes for the meeting a week before the next one, either.

Just because you don't care what people say about you, doesn't mean that others can't hurt your feelings.

It is possible to have two kids with two broken left arms.  Just ask my BFF.  It could always be worse.

No matter what you do, it is impossible to please everyone.  Just worry about pleasing the people you love.  Let the haters hate.  

Sometimes, it is possible to make NO mistakes, and still lose. 
 
Finally, if your husband is in possession of a vehicle and something major happens to it, it's no big deal.  If you are in possession of a vehicle and anything happens to it, it's the end of the world.


So, that's my Only Average lessons for the day.  Do you like my weekly wrapup with tidbits from my average life?  Hate it?  Have your own Life Lesson you would like to share?  Let me know, leave a comment! 
I hope you all have a great week, and stay average!
 

Only Average Advice

Hello to all my average and above average friends out there!

My husband has been home sick for two days with bronchitis, and I spent this morning writing my Scouting monthly newsletter, so I've been a bit busy, but I wanted to write a post today so that I don't fall out of the habit of posting.  I have a couple of items that I have ordered that were delivered this week, but I haven't used them enough to give an honest review.  So, today, I thought I would post some advice that this Only Average Mom has to give, from what I learned this weekend.

So, without further ado, here is some Only Average advice:

It's hard to be "the tall one."
It's also hard to be "the short one."  But at least if you buy pants too long, they can be cut down to size.  Not so easy to fix, the other way around.  Much to my chagrin. 

There are some people who are just not comfortable drinking at a bar, unless someone else is drinking with them.  Ditch these people.  Drink at your own pace.  Don't let some d-bag dictate what you consume.

Be the responsible one.  You'll be thanked for it later on.  Unless they forget.  But it's still better to be responsible.

Be "the crazy one".  It's worth it, sometimes, just to see the look on people's faces when you ride a tricycle through the 'Mart, with a triceratops helmet on.

This universe is so huge that my (if I do say so myself) above average brain cannot fathom it's size.  If my God breathed all of this into existence, and yet will still hear me when I cry out to Him, I must matter.  You must matter too.

If you pray, when you pray, be specific.  "Help me, God" may not be what you need to ask for. "I need a doctor that understands my disorder, with the specific knowledge needed to heal my (insert health problem here)," will likely get you better results.

God always answers prayers.  Sometimes, he says, "no."  Do you always say "yes" to your kids?  Maybe something better is on the horizon.

Hot wax is hard to get out of a dog's fur.  It's best to not put it there in the first place, or let your kids accidentally knock over a tart warmer on top of said dog.  Either way.

Snow melts fast.  Teach your kids to sled, and enjoy the moment.  Make them come inside to get warm, but then go back outside.

If you make a promise to your kids, keep it.  Even if it's hard.  If you can't guarantee the outcome of events, don't promise your kids that you will be able to do something.  It's best not to mention it, because if you do, they will lament the missed opportunity.

Be kind to those you meet.  Everyone, EVERYONE is fighting a battle.  Some are obvious, others are not.

Even though I believe in God, I also believe in Karma.  The world has a way of balancing things out on its own.  You don't always have to take revenge, sometimes the universe will do that for you.

Be the better person.  Don't stoop to the level of your enemies.  "Haters gonna hate" may be a meme, but that doesn't mean it's not true.  Reference the Karma advice above.  They will get theirs.  And it's ok to smile while you watch it happen.  Just don't be the one to make it happen.  Karma works both ways, you know.

Finally, a piece of advice someone gave me years ago, so I guess it technically doesn't count towards things I learned this weekend.  But it's still good advice:  Don't give up two minutes before your miracle."  Very profound, particularly since this advice was given to me by a person who was struggling with a drug addiction.  I haven't seen her in years, but I hope that she won the battle.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Tuesday, and that some of my words can be considered wisdom, and you can use it in your life.  But then again, I AM Only Average Mom.


 

I think Girl Scouts might be trying to get me arrested

Below is a transcript of a conversation between my husband and me, during a search for the supplies to make SWAPS* with my Girl Scout Troop.

Me: Where can I buy dime bags?

Hubby: What do you want pot for?

Me: I don't want POT, I want a dime bag.

Hubby: Ok, I'll bite.  What do you want a dime bag for? I don't think you know what you are saying.

Me: Sure I do. I want a dime bag.  I just don't want there to be anything in it.  I mean, if they sell them with stuff already in them, I guess I'll TAKE it, but I just want the bag. I need them for Scouts.

Hubby: You mean you want tiny zip top bags.  

Me: Yeah, dime bags.

Hubby: Please don't go into the 'Mart and ask for dime bags.

Me: Who, me?  I wouldn't do that.

Hubby: Yes, you would.

Me: No, I wouldn't.  I don't ask for help at 'Mart.  They employees run when they see me.

Hubby: Yes, they do seem to do that.  I think it's because they think you are going to ask them for dime bags.

Me: You aren't helping.


In case you were wondering, I DID find the little bags.  Dollar Tree. Guess they really DO sell everything there.



*SWAPS: Small Watchamacalits Affectionately Pinned Somewhere- cute little do-dads that the girls make, to swap with other girls.  We are always looking for new SWAPS-ers, and we all collect them like crazy.  Even Hubby.



Want to swap SWAPS? Have something you want to see a blog about?  Let me know, I would be happy to do a product review, or give an Only Average opinion on a subject!

What's On Tonight? Who Cares, I Have Netflix!

Netflix is awesome.

I get to find all kinds of new stuff that I never knew I always wanted to watch on TV.  With the added bonus that Rebecka can watch Dora and Diego All. Day. Long.

Wait a minute, what am I saying??

...Netflix sucks.  Until naptime.  Then Netflix is awesome.

If you aren't familiar with Netflix, basically, you can stream through a device (Wii, XBox, converter) pretty much any video or tv show that you can think of.  For like $7 a month.

Case in point:

I have heard recently a lot of hype about a show called Portlandia.  All kinds of catchy phrases, and I was totally missing the references, and I don't get the channel the show is on (IFC).  This week, Netflix added Portlandia to their list of available shows, so I decided to check it out.  Now I'm hooked.  Lorne Michaels, you are a comedic genius.  Basically, Portlandia is Kids in the Hall (remember that one?) meets SNL, but set in Portland, OR.  

Don't like comedies?  That's ok, Netflix has something for you too!  You name it, Netflix has something that you like to watch.  From Care Bears to Silence of the Lambs, Scream to the Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hot Tub Time Machine to What Dreams May Come, and every episode you could ever want to see from pretty much every show you could want to watch (MacGyver?  Dr. Who?  Buffy the Vampire Slayer?  Star Trek?  It's ALL there!)...So awesome.  

Netflix is so great that we are considering getting rid of cable all together, and just keep the internet.  

...after American Idol.  That's the clincher- no live shows- so no Idol for us if we ditched the cable company...decisions, decisions.

So, readers, have any of you done this?  Do you miss "live" tv?  Leave me a comment, let me know what you think, help us make this decision!

This Gives New Meaning to "Beach Toys"

(This post is probably not safe for work.  Consider yourself warned.)

As a resident of a beach community on the Eastern Shore, I realize that tourism is a huge part of our states revenue, and that without the lovely tourists, the local economy would tank even worse than it already has.  I personally have a love-hate relationship with tourists; they are noisy, add to the traffic, and make grocery shopping a hassle; but they are also provide much needed revenue for our economy, and we wouldn't have so many entertainment options to choose from without them.  I mean what other areas have multiple water parks within a 15 mile radius, really?

I live close to Ocean City, Maryland, and tend to frequent the Maryland beaches more than the Delaware beaches.  I have, however been to Rehoboth Beach's boardwalk and it was really nice.  

Rehoboth has three different beaches: a "family" beach; a "gay" beach (no judgement here); and a "nude"  beach.  None of which are marked.  It's a huge potluck and if you find the beach you are looking for, you are doing pretty good- and if you don't, you may find yourself paying for your child's future therapy sessions when she stumbles upon a scene not unlike the "chica" one in the movie, EuroTrip. 

I heard on the radio the other day about the top items found on Rehoboth Beach.  The number one item is not what you would have expected....


are you ready?


..............................................

(surprisingly, it's not used condoms)


Sex Toys


Srsly.

I mean, grossness aside of actually FINDING somebody else's personal items (very nasty), like, sand? EW.  NOT SEXY, people.  A moonlit (or candlelit) beach might certainly be romantic, but sand in my personal area?  Seriously Not Cool.


Also, what kind of people leave that stuff on the beach?  I understand if you don't want to take it home with you because of where you live/who you live with (I mean, hey, it's your life not mine, who am I to judge), but what is wrong with trash cans?

And, hey, those things are expensive...who has that kind of money to waste, just leaving the willies all willy-nilly on the beach? 


God forbid some innocent person walking their dog stumbles upon a personal appendage and decides to use it as a chew toy. Or brings it to some kids to play "fetch" with.  

Srsly, people, be responsible and dispose of unwanted items at the beach properly.  Don't be responsible for someone else's child's therapy sessions.

I personally find this bizarrely hilarious.  The stuff that enters your head, that never gets out, I tell you.  Maybe those "super moms" are above laughing at random crazy stuff like this, but, I'm an Only Average Mom, and I can't help but giggle.

And you know that you did too.