Monday, August 15, 2011

Woeful Weekend

I'm a Girl Scout leader.  I love each and every one of the girls I lead, and my co-leader is one of my closest friends.  Girl Scouts is a great program and I truly believe in it's mission and do all I can to ensure the girls have a great experience and gain the leadership skills necessary to make a difference in this world.

Being a leader is great, but there are a few drawbacks.  Sometimes, it's the girls themselves.

Saturday, my phone rang several times, and I chose not to answer it.  I knew who it was, and I didn't feel like company this weekend, and not answering seemed a bit more appealing to me than telling a ten year old girl that no, she couldn't come and stay the weekend with me (while my oldest, her friend, was out of town).  This particular girl wears on my nerves rather quickly, and pretends she wants to play with Rebecka, when in truth, she doesn't, and then everyone is upset, myself included.  

Saturday afternoon, she is DROPPED OFF at my house by her grandfather.  Grandfather did NOT wait to see that she made it in the house, but left immediately.  She came with a bag of clothes.  At dinner time.

What do you do??!!  She is only ten, and comes from an unstable home, to put it lightly.  Her father is chronically unemployed, and her mother has been in and out of jail the last few years, for shoplifting.  They have recently moved in with her father's parents, and from my point of view, it's not an ideal situation there, either.  But I freely admit that I don't have all the facts.

This child is constantly pretending to be terminally stupid ("I've never seen green beans before"), and talking about how her family has no food in the house (although I have taken her mother grocery shopping before; these people eat better that I ever have), and no money but lots of things: the child wears Justice underpants for goodness sake ("These pants cost $50").  Apparently, no one has told her that you can't pretend to be terminally poor while wearing designer jeans, bought at full retail (which is a crime in and of itself).

I asked her why she came over and she said, "I tried to call you." (True.  But she didn't actually speak with us.)  "I didn't feel like listening to my mommy and daddy fight, so I just decided to come here." ("Here" is about 20 miles away, and actually in another state)  Mike and I spoke about it, and decided that there wasn't a whole lot we could do at this point, made her a plate, and didn't make a big deal about it.

Mike had a talk with her before she left, explaining that she needs to ask before assuming she can come over and spend the night.

The weekend wasn't overall too hateful, however, Rebecka is much happier now that the extra child is gone, and my house is quiet once more.

And the $100 gift card my mother bought for me to buy school clothes for Katie is missing.


Probably not.

Will she be invited back?

...Same answer.

I have given this child many chances and done things for her family that others wouldn't do, but I think my kindness has come to its end in this case.  There comes a time when helping too much becomes hurting and enabling.  But then again, I am an Only Average Mom.

EDIT: The gift card has been canceled, and a new one issued.  So no loss on our behalf, except for bewilderment as to what kind of parenting tells kids it's ok to just show up at someone's house...

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